SunIndia

Friday, June 5, 2009

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system
performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery
applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as NEWS
5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix
these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman

DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: i thought you loved me. html and try to
download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt
3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should
then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can
cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0
or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will
download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install
Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that
will eventually seize control of all your system
resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications
and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does
have limited memory and cannot learn new applications
quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve
memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Tech Support

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy

TOO SWEET WORDS

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind.

'That's a serious step,' he said. 'Have you thought it out completely?'

'Yes,' his young son answered. 'We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.'
'How about transportation? ' the father asked.

'I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,' the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, 'What about babies? When you're
married, you're liable to have babies, you know.'

'We've thought about that, too,' the little boy replied. 'We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!'

CAN ANYONE BEAT THIS RESUME ?

I got the following resume . Once can hardly find very few world leaders can compete with resume.

RESUME
EDUCATION /Qualification:

Stood first in BA (Hons), Economics, Panjab University, Chandigarh,
1952.
Stood first in MA (Economics), Panjab University, Chandigarh,
1954.
Wright's Prize for distinguished performance at St John's College,
Cambridge, 1955 and 1957.
Wrenbury scholar, University of Cambridge,
1957.
DPhil (Oxford), DLitt (Honoris Causa); PhD thesis on India's
export competitiveness.
OCCUPATION /Teaching Experience:

Professor (Senior lecturer, Economics, 1957-59.
Reader, Economics, 1959-63.
Professor, Economics, Panjab University, Chandigarh, 1963-65.
Professor, International Trade, Delhi School of Economics,University of Delhi, 1969-71.
Honorary professor, Jawaharlal Nehru University,New Delhi,
1976 and Delhi School of Economics, University of Delhi,1996 and CivilServant.
Working Experience/ POSITIONS:

1971-72: Economic advisor, ministry of foreign trade.
1972-76: Chief economic advisor, ministry of finance.
1976-80: Director, Reserve Bank of India.
Director, Industrial Development Bank of India.
Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, Asian Development Bank.
Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, IBRD.
November 1976 - April 1980: Secretary, ministry of finance (Department
of economic affairs); Member, finance, Atomic Energy Commission; Member, finance, Space Commission.
April 1980 - September 15, 1982: Member-secretary, Planning Commission
1980-83: Chairman, India Committee of the Indo-Japan joint study
committee September 16, 1982 - January 14, 1985: Governor, Reserve Bank
of India.
1982-85: Alternate Governor for India, Board of governors,
International Monetary Fund.
1983-84: Member, economic advisory council to the Prime Minister.
1985: President, Indian Economic Association.
January 15, 1985 - July 31, 1987: Deputy Chairman, Planning Commission.
August 1, 1987 - November 10, 1990: Secretary-general and commissioner, south commission, Geneva.
December 10, 1990 - March 14, 1991: Advisor to the Prime Minister on
economic affairs.
March 15, 1991 - June 20, 1991: Chairman, UGC.
June 21, 1991 - May 15, 1996: Union finance minister.
October 1991: Elected to Rajya Sabha from Assam on Congress ticket.
June 1995: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha.
1996 onwards: Member, Consultative Committee for the ministry of finance.
August 1, 1996 - December 4, 1997: Chairman, Parliamentary standing
committee on commerce.
March 21, 1998 : Leader of the Opposition, Rajya Sabha.
June 5, 1998 : Member, committee on finance.
August 13, 1998 : Member, committee on rules.
Aug 1998-2001: Member, committee of privileges 2000 onwards: Member,
executive committee, Indian parliamentary group.
June 2001: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha.
Aug 2001 : Member, general purposes committee.
May 22, 2004 onwards: Prime Minister of India.
BOOKS:

India's Export Trends and Prospects for Self-Sustained Growth -Clarendon
Press, Oxford University, 1964; also published a large number of
articles in various economic journals.

OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

Adam Smith Prize, University of Cambridge, 1956
Padma Vibhushan, 1987
Euro money Award, Finance Minister of the Year, 1993;
Asia money Award, Finance Minister of the Year for Asia, 1993 and 1994
INTERNATIONAL ASSIGNMENTS:

1966: Economic Affairs Officer
1966-69: Chief, financing for trade section, UNCTAD
1972-74: Deputy for India in IMF Committee of Twenty on International
Monetary Reform
1977-79: Indian delegation to Aid-India Consortium Meetings
1980-82: Indo-Soviet joint planning group meeting
1982: Indo-Soviet moni toring group meeting
1993: Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting Cyprus 1993: Human
Rights World Conference, Vienna
RECREATION:

Gymkhana Club, New Delhi; Life Member, India International Centre, New
Delhi

Name: Dr Manmohan Singh

DOB: September 26, 1932

Place of Birth: Gah (West Punjab)

Father: S. Gurmukh Singh

Mother: Mrs Amrit Kaur

Married on: September 14, 1958

Wife: Mrs Gursharan Kaur

Children: Three daughters

Our Prime Minister seems to be the most qualified PM all over the world.